Joelle and Ira's Wedding F.A.Q.
These are some of the questions we have had (or in some cases, anticipate) and their answers. If you have further questions, please do not hesitate to contact either Joelle or Ira.

Children Related Questions
      Q. May I bring my child to the wedding?
      A. No. Please do not bring any children to the wedding. This is an adults only affair.

A lot of people are asking about this. This is not a slight to your child, who we are sure is a perfect little angel who does not cry ever. We are not having a flowergirl or ringbearer, or allowing our own nieces and nephews to be at the ceremony or reception.
      Q. What if he/she won't cry/scream/eat/burp/etc?
      A. No.
      Q. What if I'm your brother/sister/aunt/uncle/king of the universe?
      A. No.
      Q. What if I can't find a babysitter and I tried real hard?
      A. No.
      Q. What if you put "and guest" on my invitation?
      A. No.
      Q. I know you have put all that up, but my child is so good I am going to bring him/her anyway?
      A. No. We cannot physically prevent you from doing so, but if you cannot respect our wishes on this issue we would sincerely rather that you did not attend the wedding in that case.
      Q. OK - I will actually honor your request - what can I do about hiring a babysitter?
      A. The Sofitel Hotel and the Beverly Plaza Hotel each have babysitter contact lists. They will make arrangements for you, but they REALLY believe that the parent should use their lists and decide for themselves who they wish to care for their child.

Here are some of the numbers the hotels use:
Westan Services - 323-658-1903
Family Care Agency - 310-550-8936
Babysitters of Santa Monica - 310-306-5437

Wedding Day Questions
      Q. Is formal attire necessary?
      A. While the wedding party will be formal, guests can feel free to wear whatever they like. If you have a tux gathering dust in your closet, go for it.
      Q. If the food is kosher, what will I be able to eat? Should I eat something before?
      A. Kosher food tastes almost like regular food, just don't expect bacon-wrapped shrimp. There's a great pizza place next to the temple if you don't like it - we order from it twice a week.
      Q. Will the cats be in the wedding?
      A. Unfortunately, Thelma and Louise have no interest in watching their two big hairless cats stand around like nincompoops instead of opening cat food or hunting birds.
      Q. What will your First Dance song be?
      A. Closer
      Q. I'm not Jewish and have been living under a rock - What happens at a Jewish Wedding?
      A. Go to the Jewish Wedding Page.

Other Questions
      Q. Where are you registered?
      A. What a GREAT question! Bloomingdales and Williams-Sonoma.
      Q. I am going to be sending you a gift not from your registry (or, from the registry but not through Bloomies or Williams-Sonoma), where do I send it.
      A. You can send the 65-Inch Plasma High Definition Projection TV with Surround-Sound to:
	Joelle Sellner
	c/o Leon Hirsh
	4528 Commonwealth Circle
	Culver City, CA 90230
If you decide to send it to our home instead, I am sure our neighbors will appreciate your gift, since we will, of course, not be home to sign for it and it will wind up on our lawn for whoever wants to take it.
      Q. We can find the stuff on your registry cheaper than at Bloomies, can we buy it elsewhere?
      A. Sure - Joelle's friend Laura suggested going to to pick it up. Click *HERE* to go to Lanac and view our china.
      Q. Where are the maps?
      A. Here's a mapquest link for the Ceremony/Reception.
      Q. What days do I need to be there?
      A. If you are in the wedding party, please get your information from the Wedding Party page. If not, just try to be on time ... the wedding will start at about 6:30 on the 17th.
      Q. Do I need to rent a car?
      A. That depends on whether you like walking far distances. Seriously, you cannot rely on Los Angeles public transportation. It is generally populated only by the homeless and other people with varying numbers of teeth and no one really knows where it goes.
      Q. What will Joelle’s new name be?
      A. After "P-Diddy" was taken, Joelle is now considering three options. The first is to keep her name exactly as is: Joelle Melissa Sellner. Another choice is to drop her last name entirely and go by “Joelle” -- following in the footsteps of Cher, Madonna and Charo. The final possibility, changing her name into a symbol, didn’t work out so well for Prince and looks to be a pain when you have to fill out forms. However, Louise the Traditional Tabby has taken the name Goldklang. Ira will continue to refer to Joelle utilizing the traditional "Wench" familiar.
      Q. When will you be having children?
      A. As soon as either men can give birth or children do not cry/poop/eat/need to be paid attention to/hurt when they come out.
      Q. Did your Rabbi really call 2 months after he was booked to say he couldn't make it?
      A. How the heck did you hear about that? Why, yes, he did. Thank you for asking.
      Q. Is it also true that Ira got thrown out of Lush (a club) three times while you were trying to see the band you ultimately hired perform there?
      A. Yes - apparently, it is forbidden to wear sneakers at Lush. After the bouncer actually let Ira in, security swooped in about 3 minutes later. While Joelle was trying to find the band leader, security kept attempting to push Ira outside, where Ira ultimately went. Only when Joelle (who was not wearing sneakers) emerged with the head of the band and the head of security, was Ira allowed back in.
      Q. Aren’t you embarrassed that you met on the Internet?
      A. No. Some of you have seen what we dated after meeting them the traditional ways; now that’s embarrassing!
      Q. Where are you going on your honeymoon?
      A. We will have to postpone the honeymoon as we will have just paid for a wedding.