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A long time ago, on a Long Island far away, Ira was born.
Exactly two weeks later, 3,000 miles away in the San Fernando Valley, Joelle was born.
Two years later, Joelle moved to Queens - not far from where Ira lived. But they didn't meet.
After elementary school, they both started attending school in Manhattan.
Joelle went to Hunter College High School. Ira went to Yeshiva High. They both took buses, but different ones.
Ira graduated a year early and went to Yeshiva University in Manhattan. Joelle went to the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, but returned to Queens every summer where she continued to not meet Ira.
When Joelle began her senior year at Penn, guess who showed up for Law School? Yup, Ira. After a year on the same campus, they didn't meet. Ira befriended Joelle's friend Lori, who neither of them remember much about anymore.
Upon graduation, Joelle returned to New York to begin her career in advertising. Shortly afterwards, Ira graduated Law School and moved to Los Angeles. Joelle visited Los Angeles that year, where she had a great time and didn't meet Ira.
In 1994, Joelle decided that New York was "so over" and moved to Los Angeles just in time for the Northridge Earthquake. A few months later, Ira decided that Business School was "so over" (which it actually was) and also moved to Los Angeles. Once he arrived, he did not meet Joelle.
Both Ira and Joelle went to lots of parties in their new city. They began going to the same Penn alumni events where they met lots of people -- but not each other.
Since most people in LA bars make cats Thelma and Louise look like Rhodes Scholars, an exasperated Ira and Joelle signed up on Match.com, a computer dating thing (could a computer geek be worse than Joelle's Crazy Midget or Ira's disaster from Tarzana?). Joelle immediately received 13 matches. Twelve e-mailed her. One didn't. That one was ... Ira.
Finally, Ira broke down and e-mailed Joelle. They met on July 7, 1997 at the Olive Garden in Westwood, after which neither of them expected to go on a second date. And the rest is history.